Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Feeling a bit down.

My dad is growing tired of the horses because of the financial strain, which I completely understand. However, it scared the bejeebers out of me the other day when he told me he wants to get rid of Norman. He is not a horse person, and he seems to think that horses are like motorcycles; just sell them or trade them in when you don't want to deal with them anymore.

I feel extremely guilty not being able to take more of the financial load off of my parents, but as of yet, I haven't had any luck finding work. I really do understand where my dad is coming from, but the thought of parting with Norman scares me to death. I hear too many horror stories of horses ending up in bad situations once they're sold. It's even more unsettling because Norman isn't exactly the epitome of a dream horse. He's green broke and needs a serious tune-up. Not many people want a 17 hand project pony. If he had a show record and was really well trained, it would be a different story. I wouldn't worry so much if that was the case. But it's not. Finding out that one of my horses ended up with a negligent or abusive owner would be my worst nightmare.

Also, he's been tossed around between homes quite a bit. We bought him at 18 months old, and he'd already had 2 owners before that. I would hate to do that to him again. My dad doesn't think it makes any difference to him, but I beg to differ.

I'm scouring the internet and every bulletin board in town for a working student position with a good trainer. I'm hoping against hope to get an apprenticeship under a dressage trainer where I could bring one of the horses with me. That would at least make it a little easier on my parents. If I found something like that, I would bring Norman and leave Victor with my mother, at least in the beginning. It would make more sense to bring Norman because he needs the training and experience, and because Victor would be easier for my mother to take care of.

It's kind of aggravating though, because my parents want me to find a job and go to college (and I agree with them there), but at the same time, they're smothering me and doing whatever they can to keep me at home. I think they're afraid I'm going to take off and never come back. Which is ridiculous. I cannot stay at home forever. I need to do what I have to do to make sure my horses are cared for and find a job.

On a lighter note, my mother has apparently met a trainer that could help me get a therapeutic riding instructor certification. I would have to start out volunteering, but that's fine with me. I'm all for it.

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